Previous post in this series: Run for your life! Or someone else's?

Once I arrive in Nieuwegein, I pay the cab and enter the hospital. The place is empty. I am in the emergency room, but only the porter is there.

I hug my mother and sit down. I get caught up. "Dad was resuscitated right here in front of the door," she says. "He told me he couldn't brake anymore." We joke about how there's no point in doing a brain scan after CPR anyway. He doesn't have a brain anyway.

At one point, someone is brought in to be resuscitated with a pump. "Oh so that's how it went for Dad," I thought. We leave for the Intensive Care Unit (ICU) because the family of the person just brought in will also be in the waiting area.

Once in the ICU, the waiting begins. We talk about: What if? What if? Mom explains the whole story again, and the details we know so far are teased out.

I wait and I wait and I wait. I drink some tea. And I wait again. Then I go and pee, and for a change I sit and wait.

The night nurse comes to tell me that they are operating with 6 doctors. So I guess it will be all right. I keep my spirits up. Dad hasn't seen this yet. He hasn't helped me with that yet.

The waiting continues. Meanwhile, I pray a little within myself.And then the night nurse comes again. "Maybe you guys want to get some sleep?" she says. I say is good. I go to the family room and sleep there like this from 2 a.m. to 6 a.m. I'm asleep. Normally I sleep longer, but I wake up naturally. I put on my shoes and go back to thewaiting room of the ICU where Mom and my brothers sat all night.

As soon as I wake up, the night nurse puts out a small breakfastdown. I'm not really hungry anyway, and I have a hard time getting it down.After breakfast we go back into the waiting room and sit and wait.The night nurse told us that around 5 o'clock the doctors were ready and that they would move Dad to the ICU. But because he is on all kinds of devices that is difficult. So he could be there any time.

Around 7 o'clock we are told that dad is back to the operating room because he has cardiac arrhythmia.

So what are we going to do? Pray and continue to wait...

Next post in this series: Then a darkness fell...

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