It has been 2 years today since my dear father returned to his Creator. Two years. For some, that's a long time. For me, that's short. It's like it's just been one year. I have also noticed this past year that 2015 flew by me, and I often thought this year, "It hasn't been that long, has it?"

I started thinking about death in the last 2 years. When I was 24, I didn't dwell on the fact that my father was already dying. My father's sudden death was a blow. I can deal with it, can talk about it, but I will always be left with the question, "Why?"

Periodically that question comes up again. I know then that I will not get an answer to that until after I die. In heaven I will tickle my father awake on Sunday mornings....

I look back on the life I had thanks in part to my father. I could frolic nicely with him, and even as a 24-year-old I still just crawled on his lap, feeling like a child again.

Sometimes you miss muscular arms, which I marveled at so much as a child. And also that my father lifted me to my bed.

Dear Papa,

You have loved me. I have loved you.

You have made me angry. I have angered thee.

You have forgiven me. I have forgiven you.

We were a good team together.

Working in the garden together, playing with the pond.

Walking together, oh how I enjoyed that.

We were two friends through thick and thin.

We could frolic, laugh and cuddle together.

We were like two hands in one.

You knew everything. At least I thought I did.

You were there for me when I needed it.

You were there for me and others.

I want to let you know, I have always loved you.

That I love you, and will love you.

And that I love you from beyond death.

Love, Kobus

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