Eve of Christmas 2018
5th anniversary of my father's death
Sometimes I get very lighthearted about Papa being gone, I can joke about it. That's how we are. But on a day like today, it still takes some getting used to.
I often think about it: "I would still like to discuss so much with him." I am now in an age where you would like to ask how that used to happen when he was my age.
As a child and adolescent, you can get the blood under your father's fingernails. So I got him angry plenty of times. But in retrospect, I think he had my best interests at heart. He is and remains the strong Papa I admired so much as a child.
I always loved crawling into bed with him on Sundays and waking him up. At first I tickled him under his feet which he could stand so badly. When I was a little older he started kicking at me, and that hurt sometimes, but I got better and better at avoiding it.
But often afterwards, if his mood hadn't completely turned, I would crawl into bed with him, and he liked that only too much.
Or in the evening when he came home from work, I would crawl into his lap. It was always his Kobus who climbed on his lap. Even when I was an adult I still did that every now and then, but he didn't last long because of the weight.
I would still show Papa so much and do so much together, but I know he sees what I do, and is proud of me.
Dear Papa, pray for us.