Sinach - Way Maker
I find myself becoming more and more mature and understanding better the signs of life. As a man, I automatically assume that a beautiful woman you have a lot of contact with and care about is meant to be in a relationship with.
I have come to understand that love is not just something between couples who are madly in love with each other. It is a strange feeling. You love someone very much but are not in love. I asked a good friend what this feeling could mean. He asked me, "Do you love your mother?" I said, "Yes, of course" His second question was, "Are you in love with your mother?" I said, "No, of course not."
I let this mature and thought yes, this is true. I love my brothers, but am not in love with them. I love my sister-in-law, but am not in love with her. There are other people I love to some degree.
I think it comes from the degree to which you have contact. If your best friend moves far away and you don't maintain enough contact then your love for your best friend diminishes. Once you maintain regular contact again then the love returns.
I have not noticed this feeling so much. You get the love from your father and mother by their example. They teach you, if someone is good to you, they are good persons. Because of the example they themselves live by and because you see them daily, you love them. Then when your father dies you only notice how much you love someone.
I am writing about this because I recently wondered what my feelings were doing to me. The uncle of a friend died far too early. I know the man only from the photograph. I know, sadly, what it is like to lose someone who died much too soon. You start comparing things. And when you that you are sad for days because your friend is sad it is strange.
I then start thinking about why. I sympathize extremely with her. It hurts me when I hear that she has to go to the doctor for tests. I then think, "I love you" but not like, I am in love.
Love is not just between a couple in love. If you genuinely care about someone and don't want something bad to happen to them Then you can speak of love. The moment it hurts you when something happens to the one then you can say it is true love. The gender does not matter. If as a young man, you love a young woman, it does not automatically have to mean falling in love. Love is something precious. Be careful of it.